Wedding Night Stuffing Repack -

We didn't speak. We didn't gaze romantically. We simply inhaled an entire large pepperoni pizza in under four minutes. It was animalistic. It was, in hindsight, the true consummation of our marriage—our union as two people who love pizza more than sleep.

If you type "wedding night" into Pinterest, you get a very specific aesthetic: soft lighting, luxury lingerie, rose petals scattered on 800-thread-count sheets, and a couple gazing lovingly at one another with the boundless energy of people who have clearly not just hosted a party for 150 of their nearest and dearest. wedding night stuffing

For months, I had fantasized about a perfect, slow wedding night. I had packed delicate lingerie. I had bought expensive candles. But what we actually shared was better. We didn't speak